Clouds and Tears, Sorrow and Rain, Yet Joy throughout the Pain.
May 12, 2010
So, I just got back from a run to a hillside by my house. It overlooks a creek and this time of year the grass is grown high and the wildflowers are in bloom. Quite winded from running, seeing as I hadn’t done such in a while, I sat down in the tall grass and just started to pray. As I did, beginning to tell God all that was on my heart (though I know He knows, it helps me to just tell him the way it is) He started to open my eyes. There’s alot that’s been going on lately, a lot that’s out of my control and that’s the hardest part. When you see someone you truly care about hold their broken heart in their hands and there’s nothing you can do about it. It’s not my pain, it’s the pain of someone I care so much for, who’s weight I wish I could hold better than I can. In fact, I wish I could take it all together. But as I started to look up, I noticed these huge, powerful, amazing clouds soar far above my head. Being driven by the same breeze that leads the wildflowers and the tall grass in a dance I only wish I knew how to follow. This sight seemed to stop my prayer mid-way, and all of a sudden I began to realize that God is in control. We say those words like they’re a slogan for chewing gum, but today I got a glimpse of that truth. The truth that God is genuinely stronger than the hardest of times. And the people i care about most are in the palm of his hands alongside of myself. I suppose we live in a culture where we want to fix what’s wrong. The only problem with that is sometimes what’s broken can’t be fixed by us. We don’t ask for help. We’re too prideful to look up to the Creator of every star that inhabits the night sky and ask for His help. And then to trust Him with our lives. Sometimes it could be that what’s broken needs to be broken. But in my finite understanding I truly don’t get that. Why can’t we heal that broken hearts that we care so much about? Why do things outside of our control scare us so much? Why aren’t we comforted when we look at the ocean or see the moon? There’s a strong, mighty, redeeming God who binds up the broken and heals the weary hearted. And He is completely trustworthy, beyond our comprehension.
If I could turn my attention to a slightly different point on the same topic…
Tears are so bitterweet. They are somthing that when I see come from anothers eyes, I want to wipe every single one away and throw them into the sea. But at the same exact time, tears are a picture of something greater. Of grace. How? I’m not exactly sure. I suppose in the same way that rain is. Alot of people don’t like rainy days.. They say they’re lazy, or sad, I personally enjoy them from time to time but popular oppinion says that the rain is a curse. And from one side of the spectrum I can understand that point of view. Rainy days do tend to sadden, to sober, and to hinder the joy that the shining sun brings. However, if it didn’t rain, we would have two things gone like stolen works of art from our lives. One: We wouldn’t have the growth that the rain brings. See, rain brings things to life that otherwise would certainly be dead in the summer sun. Plants find their thirsts quenched and their roots growing deeper and deeper. Rain brings life. With out it our world would be dry, and shallow. and Two: We wouldn’t have the appreciation for the days of sun. Have you ever spent a week of rainy days just wishing that the sun would come out at least for a short time? O if he would just stick his smiling face from behind those thick clouds long enough for me to see he’s there. Then finally! After that week, the eighth day is the brightest, most beautiful, sunny day you swear you’ve ever seen! See, without rain, we’d be lost. Without tears, we’d be incomplete. Of course they are the sign of a broken heart which is sometimes is almost unbearable to have, but without brokenness how could we be healed? It won’t always be rainy, and tears won’t always come down, but for the season they’re around let’s learn to sing. To sing in the storm and to worship through the pain. There will be a day when all our tears are wiped away, and what a day that will be, but until then, there will be seasons of laughter and seasons of tears, seasons of joy and seasons of pain. But God is faithful, and we have those close to us to hold on to as well. And those seasons are equally important in our lives. Where would be with on and not the other?
I cry when I see your eyes turn red and fill like stormy skies. I’m lost inside your pain, but hoping through the rain. I’ll hold your hand, as long a I possible can, and when I can’t reach you, My God will lovingly teach you. God is strong, I’ve said it before and I’ll sing it long after we’re gone. He is everything we need and He’ll be our storm broken song. I’m lost, but found amidst His love and you are in His hands. I’ll do what I can but He is the one who is there when be there I can’t. So don’t look to anyone but Him when your heart is breaking apart, though I’ll do my best to have the arms that will comfort you finish to start. Should he allow and should we be careful to follow Him step for step, we will one day soon, find ourselves together in His wonderful plan.