Emotions to die, so Spirit can live alive.

It’s a brand new night, the stars are out again and the moon hangs in briliance. As I look on the process of night fall I can’t help take instruction. The day dies. The sun seems to fall. Everything seems to go dim, and dark, and light starts to be drown out by the dusk. But what does it bring? It brings the peace of the moonlit sky. The repose of the days rush. The sight of a sea of black, filled with the beauty of a million stars all singing a symphony of dreams. This tranquil evening could not have been brought about had this daytime not come to die for a while.

How do I relate that to life? Everything in our lives seems to be moving, like the sun in it’s orbit. While the sun is in our sky, we rush, we worry, we doubt, we work, we toil, we sweat, we cry. But when the sun goes down, eveything seems to be put on hold. We seem to surrender everything to a night’s rest. You see, just like the sun comes down to the horizon, eventually we have to let go of all of our fears, our worries, our pain, and lay it down before the Creator of this marveous creation! Until we do that, rest can never come, and true peace will never find us in it’s warm embrace. Reminds me of something I was reading today, about sacrifice. Sacrifice isn’t really sacrifice if it doesn’t cost anything. This isn’t a theory I’ve come up with, it’s far before my time. Look as far back as Abraham with Isaac in Genesis 22. God didn’t want isaac dead, he wanted Abraham’s entire heart to be found faithful to Him. I feel certain that Isaac, being God’s promise to Abraham, was worth more to Abraham than anything in the entire world. I feel also, as if this is why God tested Him with his son. His only son. Looking alittle more recent in time I think about David in 2 Samuel 24:24 Which says, “Then the king (David) said to Araunah, “No, but I will surely buy [it] from you for a price; nor will I offer burnt offerings to the LORD my God with that which costs me nothing.” So David bought the threshing floor and the oxen for fifty shekels of silver.” You see, David had sinned greatly and when offered a choice of three consequences, he chose to fall into the hands of His merciful God. David said the above statement when he desired to offer a sin offering to God. He wasn’t about to “give up” something to God that didn’t require Him having to actually “give up”. Now looking at our Savior. Jesus paid the ultimate price for the sake of Love. He gave everything to save us. Why? Because Greater love has no man than this, that a man should lay down his life for his friends.

Today I was at a very old fellow’s house. He was a customer, and he had just gotten home from visiting his wife in a nursing home. I don’t know how long they had been married, but he did say they moved to Galveston thirty years ago, which leads me to believe they’d been married for quite a long time. I went on to find out that his wife, as he said, “Half the time didn’t even know who he was.” Or something to that affect. He mentioned something about how when he was in there yesterday… and so on and so on, which led me to believe he more than likely was there everyday to visit her. How could he hold his own broken heart in hand everyday and care for his wife who may or may not recognize him? He loved her. He loved her so much that it must have hurt more for him to go a day without seeing her than it did for her to maybe not know his name. It must have broken his heart more to think that she was alone than it did to not hear her call his name anymore. He must have cared about her so deeply that he put aside everything. The pain. The sorrow. And held her hand tightly. Or maybe holding her hand washed away the pain and sorrow. I don’t know everything about this man’s situation, in fact I don’t know much. I can’t even begin to imagine how he felt. But I know he loved his wife. So much so that it didn’t matter how he felt, he was by her side. He was there for her and wasn’t planning on going anywhere till the end. He talked of having to get rid of her clothes soon which made me think maybe she wasn’t expected to come home. He teared up at the thought. I can’t help but think, if God gave us the picture of marriage as an illustration of His relationship with us then His love for us must be even stronger than this. His hand must always be outstretched to us even when we turn our hearts away, and His heart must always break for us in love. An O so perfect love! One that is completely selfless and unconditional.

I hope this isn’t a rant. I hope it makes sense to you as it does so clearly to me here on my couch, in my living room, this evening. Things must die in order to live. “For if you live according to the flesh you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live.” -Rom 8:13  We see it in botany, we see it in the sunset, we see it in the sunrise, we’ve seen it in a mother who gave her life in childbirth, and in a man who won’t let go of his wife’s hand. Maybe I’ve put too much into illustrating this point. The simple picture is found out my window tonight, and then reflected through the glass in my heart and my life. Everyday I have to give up. Everyday I have to die. Everyday I do, I find the rest and silence of a peaceful night, and the promise that when the sun rises, His mercies will be new. And though the sorrow lasts for the night the joy comes in the morning. It’s hard to give up. It’s hard to have a broken heart, even if it’s just because it’s breaking under being so full of His goodness and blessings. But the promise is, that when you allow your heart to be broken in love, the One who made it will put it back together better than it was before. “If it doesn’t break your heart it isn’t love, and If it doesn’t break your heart it’s not enough. It’s when you’re breaking down, with your insides comin out. That’s when you find out what your heart is made of.” Let go. Breath in and out and let your heart break if you have to. It’s worth it. It’s all worth it.

God take it all. Every breath. Every sigh. Every smile. And hold it in your hand. The only place my heart and the depths thereof belong. Help me let go. Help me let you, take my burdens and take my joys, and mold me and shape me for the road ahead. I am yours. Help me be yours alone.

Advertisement